The Forgiven Ring

 

In 2014, I walked into a Christian book store.  As I perused the store, my eye caught attention to a silver ring.  On that ring was the word "FORGIVEN".  I stared at it for quite awhile, sizing it on my finger, taking it off again, and putting it back on.  I was drawn to it, and I didn't really know why.  It had no particular significance to me at the time.  I knew forgiveness was important, and by God's incredible grace I was forgiven. This was a lesson I had been reminded of since I was a young child.  But with only a curious intuition and spontaneous urge, I said to myself, "I'm going to buy it!"

I put it on and wore it, assuming that God was going to bring some purpose or significance to this word "Forgiven".  And of course, He did.  The next year I would experience relational hurt I had never experienced before.  Situations I've heard other people talk about, but had never encountered myself.  And it seemed to surround me in many aspects of my life.  Honestly, there are many things I wish I would have said and done differently, but throughout this difficult time, I would look down at the ring I bought the previous year, and be reminded I had been forgiven.  

Now don't get me wrong...this was not in the way that I was telling myself, "Well, I'm forgiven so I'm good."  No, it was a reminder that I had been forgiven much by the grace of God; therefore, I need to extend that same forgiveness to others.

I'm "not gonna lie" it took me several years of sorting through hurts, wrestling with God about all the "whys" in my head, and praying that God would help me let go of unforgiveness. Forgiving is not easy, and there is much to do that requires self-reflection. It wasn't until I finally quit trying to forgive and arrived at a point of humility that I raised my voice to God and said, "I can't do it! I can't forgive! So, God, you are going to have to do it in me!"  That was the first step toward freedom and the ability to let go of all the pain and hurt and bitterness encapsulated in unforgiveness.

Freedom didn't come from trying harder and harder to forgive. It came from realizing my own limitations and my own need for God's undeserved grace.  I had been "FORGIVEN", and until I could truly wrap my brain around that, forgiveness toward others seemed impossible.

Paul Tripp in his devotional "New Morning Mercies" writes:

"No one gives Grace better than a person who is deeply convinced of his/her own need of Grace."

I could change that to say, "No one gives forgiveness better than a person who is deeply convinced of his/her own need for forgiveness."

My 2024 word of confession has brought forth and brought attention to MY profound need for Grace, and in the process given me eyes to empathize and understand and give grace to others instead of being quick to judge or be critical.  A new mindset that we are all in the same boat - all trying our best to stay afloat and live the best we know how while still needing the beautiful gift of grace God offers us. 

I'm learning about grace in a whole new way -the depths, even new dimensions of it. Grace is something I have taken for granted for sure, used flippantly, so cliche, missing the reality of the extent of its meaning.

"The person who is unimpressed by God's Grace hasn't really understood his own sin."
-Paul Tripp

I love "The Chosen." In one episode, Jesus suggests (I love that!) to Peter that it might be time for him to forgive Matthew, but Peter felt the battle and struggle within as I did.  After much frustration and thought, Peter asks the same honest question I had asked Jesus in my own journey with unforgiveness, "Why does it have to be so hard?" To which Jesus responds, "Man makes it hard when he relies on his own understanding."

There it is...we try to understand the hurts and struggles and even our own sin through the lens of our limited perspectives and points of view.  But when Jesus graciously suggests to us that it may be time to forgive, we have to look beyond our understanding, beyond the "why" questions, the injustices, and acknowledge that the grace we talk about so freely is the same grace that covers over a multitude of our sins. We all have the same need for that Grace!

I'm learning there are so many valuable gifts at the intersection of Confession + Grace.  One being forgiveness. Not to be taken lightly, but treasured and held like a priceless gem. Or perhaps I should say worn like a significant ring. 

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God!"  

Proverbs 3:5-6 (Message)