Strangers to Family

A year ago (2017) I dialed a number on my phone. I was calling a stranger. Someone I didn’t know and had never met. My dad’s oldest sister, Aunt Ellen, had given me the number and encouraged me to contact my great uncle in Homer, Alaska. He was the last living sibling of my grandfather. 

So here I was…standing out on our bluff in Kenai, Alaska, hoping the distant cell tower would connect my call to Homer.  Eventually a quiet, gentle voice answered.  I began to explain to him how I was his great niece, daughter of Gary Enzminger, his nephew, and that I’d like to meet him.  There was a bit of a silent pause until he asked me to explain myself again. I understood…this was an unusual phone call from a stranger, claiming to be family. He was reluctant, and I didn’t blame him. So I began to talk about my dad and all his siblings, which he knew well. These memories made him laugh and after a few more pauses in the conversation, I realized the silence was not about lack of words, but deep emotions.  We decided to meet at a coffee shop, and I described myself to him so he would be able to recognize me.  He returned the favor by simply saying, “I’ll be the old guy.”

I grew more excited to meet him as the day of our meeting approached.  Walking into the local coffee shop in the quaint town of Homer, I found myself alone.  No one was there except the girl behind the counter eager to take my drink order. After I ordered my chai tea, I sat at a table, thinking about what I would say when I made eye contact with my great uncle.  Would he look like my grandpa or my dad?  I’ve only seen pictures of my grandpa; he died before I was born. Being the only one in the coffee shop, there would be no problem identifying him. 

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car door closing and soon a tall older man walked through the doorway.  The girl behind the counter said, “Hi Elmer!”  He scanned the nearly empty room and said, “I was told to meet a blonde here!” There he was, with the same humor as my dad. I got up to greet him and said, “Well, I guess that must be me then.”  Instead of sitting across the table from me, my grandpa’s youngest brother sat right next to me.  I looked at him, wishing he could take me back in time to the “good old days” of living in North Dakota with his eight siblings. I asked him questions about my grandpa, whom he shared his birthday with.  His words were slow and few, stopping mid-sentence to hold back heartfelt tears the memories brought to the surface. 

He’d look at me and chuckled as if he was surprised by his emotions. 

However, I had a feeling those sweet tears have been 

his companion for a long time. 

His soft, big heart was clearly evident; our connection was instant.  

In just a few short minutes, he was no longer a stranger to me nor a distant blood relative, but family.  As I talked about my dad, whom Elmer had not seen since my grandmother’s funeral in 1976, he would say, “Oh, I would love to see him.” And I responded… “I haven’t been able to get him up to Alaska in 20 years, but maybe you could.” 

I arrived in Homer looking for a stranger 

and left town with new found family.

Fast forward to this summer (2018): my dad faced his anxiety with flying and landed in Alaska. Actually the plane went to land on the runway but due to strong winds the captain decided to take off again right before landing and circle around to try landing a second time. All of us on the plane cheered when it finally landed on the second attempt. So proud of my dad for doing something hard for him so that he could see his uncle one more time.

As we drove to Uncle Elmer's home nestled in the hills of Homer, overlooking the beautiful mountain range and Homer spit, I couldn’t wait to see my dad and my great uncle’s first sight of each other.  Aunt Karen welcomed us in and pointed to the living room.  There Uncle Elmer sat in his chair looking out the front window at the majestic Kachemak Bay.  Even though it had only been a year since I saw him last, he looked a bit more bent over and frail. I came around to the front of his comfy chair and he looked up at me…and there formed a big smile. 

His sweet face was familiar to me again. I reached down and gave him a hug and turned to my mom to re-introduce them.  And just as if time slowed down to savor the moment, my dad walked around to reach out his hand and said, “Hi, Uncle Elmer!”  Standing right next to them, I studied both their faces.  Elmer grasped his nephew’s hand and like I expected... 

those sweet companion tears welcomed themselves onto the scene 

and his frail body began to shake with joy.  

He brought his handkerchief to his mouth, unable to speak, but his silence spoke volumes. His unspoken words from the heart were clear. Too deep to explain with words nor to produce sound. Feelings too meaningful to name with words. I looked at my mom, and she looked at me, both of us with tears in our eyes, understanding the beauty of this reunion. 

We huddled around Elmer as Dad asked him questions about the Enzminger family, days gone by, and stories only remembered by the two of them.  The rest of us observed and listened, honored to be invited back into our family history. While Dad explained stories to the rest of us and catch us up to speed on our family lineage, Elmer would look around the room intently at each of the faces surrounding him, taking it all in, treasuring this unique moment of having distant relatives near. Eventually he would catch me staring at him…we would smile at each other and then he’d wink at me. I know he wanted this moment to never end, and I did too. 

Uncle Elmer is my dad’s connection to his parents, his childhood, and his past. All of which are my heritage and history as well. 

The German language spoken amongst my dad’s family is now non-existent in my generation, and as time goes on, more of my family’s roots and history are being forgotten. 

That is unless I care.  Care about my ancestors who left Germany in search of a better life for their family. Appreciate the sacrifices and hardships of generations before me; the sacrifices I now reap the benefits from. I’ve never had to start from scratch, work the ground to provide for my family, or escape my country for safety. 

Knowing the past brings value to my past

and the people in it because 

their lives played a pivotal role 

in who I am today.

We have so much to lose if we lose our past.

As we drove out of the driveway, Uncle Elmer and Aunt Karen stood in the doorway together, waving good-bye. Once strangers, now forever bonded as family. 

Uncle Elmer with his three great-grandnieces! 

(and his dog Cody)

The Power of Words & A Library

I first saw him and heard him speak in Boise, Idaho when I was in elementary school.  I can't remember what age I was.  I just remember our small church had decided to take people downtown in a school bus to hear him preach. I don't have any recollection of where he spoke to us nor much about his message.  But I did remember one thing Billy Graham said:  

"Why are we always using the word...hell?  Why can't we start talking about heaven?"

That was my takeaway as a young girl sitting through a very long sermon.

Afterwards, the bus-full of church people stopped at a local restaurant for dinner.  A few other kids and myself asked our parents if we could go play and run around in the bus parked in the parking lot.  We were granted permission.  

As we were immersed in our imagination and play, we were surprised by two teenage boys who pushed opened the door of the bus and hollered, "Hey! What the hell are you doing?"

It startled us, and because no adults were around I felt scared.  I looked at the others and found strength in Billy Graham's words and hollered back, "Why do you have to use the word hell?  Why can't you say - what the heaven?"

If cell phones had existed back then, I would have captured their stunned facial expressions.  They were a bit dumbfounded and didn't know what to say. Probably never had that response before! Quickly the "hell-talker" said to his companion, "Let's get out of here." And they were gone.

I felt powerful. I experienced the power of words. I felt like Mr. Graham's protege.

Fast forward to the age of 43, my mom invited me to take a trip with her to the Noah's Ark replica in Kentucky, and then she tagged on an extra day trip to Charlotte, NC to see the Billy Graham Library.  I knew nothing about the library, and to be honest I was not very excited about the idea.  However, I would not pass up a trip to North Carolina.

We drove back into the Carolina woods to find not what I thought a library would look like, but a quaint southern brick home and a beautiful barn with windows in the shape of a cross.  I was instantly intrigued. There was history here, and I love history.

When I walked in, it was not the library I had envisioned...

It was a journey through Billy's life of faith, an interactive walk through time. Mechanical dairy cows introduced visitors to the beginnings of little "Billy Franks" life on the dairy farm, and then directed us to the next area, where we sat on wooden benches and watched a short film of Billy Graham's call into ministry.

There I sat...now more curious about this "library", and as I sat there and listened to Billy preach the simple words of salvation to large audiences of people in the video, I came undone. My emotions came over me so quickly, I was uncertain and confused what struck such a cord in me.  I did everything to hold back the tears, but I had no control. His words - even though I'd heard his familiar words over the years through television - this time his words engaged my spirit in a powerful way.  That wooden bench became an altar within a few short moments. 

I thought to myself, "Oh my, how am I going to get through this if I can barely hold it together at the start of the tour?" 

Still wiping my tears and trying to hold it together, we walked into the next room designed to look like a tent Billy preached in many times during the mid 1900's.  One tent revival meeting was scheduled for four weeks, but ended up going for EIGHT weeks!

Would Christians today even go to a 1-week revival meeting?

Thousands would come.  People seemed hungry for God and His Word. God raised up a man who would boldly speak through the timely inventions of radio and television, spreading the Gospel in unimaginable ways.

God even opened up opportunities with government officials, Presidents, celebrities, and diplomats.

His influence over the course of almost 10 decades is the true evidence of what God can do through a man or woman who gives his/her life completely over to God.  

At the end of the tour, every visitor is invited to accept Jesus and the gospel message into their lives.  Even though I have already made that decision long ago, I was still ready and open to make that decision all over again. Instead my old faith was revived to a new bolder one. The journey had awakened my spirit and nurtured the roots of my soul.  All I could think was, "This place has to be covered in prayer!"

My mom and I didn't say too much to each other throughout the tour.  We simply took it all in.  We decided to have lunch in the cafe in the library, and when we sat down to eat I asked my mom to pray because I knew I would not get through even a simple meal prayer.  As my mom began to pray, I realized she too had been deeply moved by our experience.  Her emotions could not be held in either.  

I've written in my journal many words and sayings from Billy Graham since my visit to the library.  Words if were said without the Holy Spirit would only be words, nothing extraordinary.  But because Billy Graham lived so closely with God, his words powerfully passed through the walls of people's hearts and transformed the lives of people all over the world.

"People do not come to hear what I have to say - 

they want to know what God has to say."

-Billy Graham

When I heard that Billy Graham had died this morning, I couldn't hold back the tears once again. His words had given me the courage once as a young girl and again as a grown woman. He was a part of my faith journey as thousands of others all over the world could possibly say the same thing. 

We don't know our own influence; how powerful our words can be when we allow God to use them for His purpose.  But little "Billy Frank's" life is a beautiful example of God's incredible work in the lives of those who courageously live out their faith boldly, obediently, and freely.

He will be missed, but his words live on in all of us.  And joy fills my heart when I think of the words Billy got to hear this morning from the One he served so faithfully for so many years, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Laughter - A Noble Strength

“…she can laugh at the days to come.”

(Proverbs 31:25b) 

Many of us are very familiar with the Proverbs 31 epilogue, the description of a noble wife.  She is a hard worker, vigorously caring for her children, making wise business transactions, helping the needy, and taking care of all the household affairs. She seems to have it all together. Life looks easy for this mom and wife of the year.

Every time I read this chapter I’m inspired to be like this woman. However, I’m going to wait before I add all these noble traits to my New Year’s resolution list. I don’t believe making a list of resolutions is where we start to change ourselves. We can easily make a list and start working on our nobility. However, like most resolutions, they last a couple of weeks and if we are really self-disciplined, maybe a month. There is more to this woman than doing all the right things, making all the right choices, and living a perfect life.

She can laugh. In fact she laughs AT the days to come, almost mockingly. Not the social laugh that is poised, the one we express in social circles as a way to connect. No…this woman has an internal posture that gives her the ability to find humor and joy in what is to come even though the future is undoubtedly uncertain and holds no guarantees. Her ability to laugh is rightly viewed as strength in this passage.

And let’s remember that strength and wisdom only develop on the proving ground of trial and error. It is often our struggles and challenges which produce maturity and finer character. Therefore, it’s easy to assume this woman of Proverbs had problems too, even though scripture does not tell us so. In fact, in order for us to even relate to this noble woman or to aspire to be like her, we would have to surmise she made a mistake a time or two. She had conflicts in the workplace, ungrateful children at times, unexpected bills and health concerns, aging parents, hormones, and even heartache and loss.

And yet, she can laugh. Her laughter is the external expression of how she views life. She knows life’s circumstances do not define her. She knows who she is and Whom she belongs to. She can smile and even laugh in the face of uncertainty, because her identity in God is spiritually sound. Neither her nobility nor her fears are based in what others say, do, or believe. Her security is not contingent on external happenings but grounded in the assurance that she serves and fears a trustworthy God. From her stance, difficulties dissolve into non-threatening challenges she can overcome because she does not battle life alone. In fact, many of the battles are not even hers to fight; she knows the difference. She knows Who is in charge, Who is on her side, Who sees the bigger picture, Who wins the ultimate war, and Who really has it all together.

When the “days to come” looked very bleak to Job, God reminded him of who He is and what He is capable of stirring in the heart of His creation:

“Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane?

Do you make him leap like a locust striking terror with his proud snorting?

He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength, and charges into the fray.  

He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; he does not shy away from the sword.

In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground;

he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.”

Job 39:19-22,24 NIV

 

Proverbs 31 is not about making a list with the hope of changing ourselves. It’s about finding ourselves: who we truly are and what we are capable of in His strength. Our position of nobility does not come from our vigorous efforts to be woman of the year but by claiming our noble bloodline and birthright through Christ.

Noble women, find where your true nobility and strength lies. May the Lord help us believe Who we belong to so that we may charge into the fray, rejoicing in His strength, afraid of nothing. We will then see the fear of uncertainty in the days to come be dismissed by the noble strength of laughter.

Let God’s words in Job 39 speak to you through this short video.(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX99IWLo8wI)