Imagine Sitting

I think I've re-written this blog three times.  It's only because I'm scattered.  I just sold half my belongings at a moving sale, the rooms in my house feel empty, but there is still so much to pack and many decisions to make before we head out of town. 

I just finished Emily Freeman's most recent book, "Simply Tuesday".  Yes, it took me quite awhile to finish it because I can't help dissect the book of an author that knows my thoughts, my tendencies, and writes about things I've experienced but didn't quite know how to explain it.  She simply says it for me.  Honestly, it freaks me out at times.  How does she know me so well, and we've never met?

Any who! What she's been teaching me in her book is how to SIT....(pause).....yes, SIT.  Sit and embrace smallness in the hustle of life.  Oh, I got hustle alright!  Right in the middle of this intersection...

(Thanks to my friend Jennifer who lives in the Dallas area and snapped this photo when she took a wrong turn. God can give us literal signs, eh!)

So today I decided to start packing some things up in boxes.  I had no plans to SIT today.  Get as much done before the "troops" get home.  Let's start with the family photos...I went around the house taking down all family portraits and framed photos.  (Can you believe I counted all my framed photos and had over 50 of them throughout my house? Am I egocentric or just love pictures of my kids?)  

Any who, again!  As I was taking down pictures, I found myself pausing to stare at them for a moment...a smile formed on my face and my mind quickly went back to the scene of the moment I had captured.

Unknowingly I sat down.  I pondered, cherished the glimpse of that part of my story, and found a deep breath for my soul, which is why Emily writes.  What should have taken me 20 minutes to pack three boxes of photos, is still undone on the hardwood floor.

I kept avoiding one room, passing by a wall of photos I knew I needed to take down but just couldn't bring myself to do it.  It's in a room I rarely make time to sit in but when all that was left in this room was my historic photo collage all I could do was SIT and look at it. 

The photos of my parents and grandparents and Brent's parents and grandparents were whispering to me...drawing me to stop...and SIT.

I know I get to take these photos with me to Idaho, but still the moment was greeted by tears.  I don't know why, and I'm trying really hard not to evaluate every situation (another thing Emily is teaching me) so I just embraced the emotions that joined me and my relatives on the wall.  

I looked at the faces in the photos who were once young and are now grandparents and some are now living with Jesus.  In the world's eyes they are small and insignificant, but in mine they are huge!

Their small interactions with me and small deposits into my life have made a significant impact on my life, making me who I am today.  They took the time to SIT with me and color, help me with school projects, teach me how to ride a motorcycle, pick a slimy fish out of a net, work side by side with family, drive a tractor, stay clear from anchors, share experienced wisdom, give generously, pray unwaveringly, trust wholeheartedly, and love deeply.  The SMALLS are numerous, all which took the time to sit with me.

"Feeling significant beats feeling successful." 

John Maxwell 

Staring at the history on the wall, I see once again how fragile and precious and short life is and how easily life travels by in the hustle and bustle...and I rarely take the time to sit and recall the beginning of the story that's been written and captured and hung on my walls.

(Here my girls carry on the tradition, sporting their mom's uniform number, who wore the #4 in honor of the greatest basketball player ever - Spud Webb!)

One of my favorite photos is not a photo.  It's a caricature, and it makes me smile every morning when I go downstairs to wake up the girls for school. 

It's my cartoon character, but that's not why it bring me joy each weekday morning.  You see, I've never agreed to do something like this because of the cost.  Yes, I'm pretty tight and thrifty with my money.  I shop at consignment stores and garage sales.  I still have a few items of clothing from college days, and I only buy on sale.  So when my girls asked me if we could get "drawn up" together at the Georgia Aquarium, I went crazy and said yes. (Deep down I've always wanted to know how someone would draw me as a caricature- would I have big cheeks or a pointy chin?  I do think my nose and teeth are a little big in the sketch). 

So the girls and I SAT down together, trying not to move too much nor make a goofy face that would show up on canvas.  We giggled and watched onlookers faces as they walked by to gather clues if we looked ridiculous in our picture or not.  Ten minutes later the artwork was complete, and we'd been officially sketched!  The girls did what girls do, critiqued their drawing, but all I could say was, "Wasn't that fun!?!"  They had no idea I've wanted to do that my whole life!  

So I framed them and hung them up while the rest of the family thought I was weird to do so.  I framed them because they remind me of a moment I splurged with my girls on something pretty needless, and I gave myself permission to stop and sit with my girls to document the day together. 

Just IMAGINE if we all just took more time to put aside the to-do lists, silence the phone, turn off the computer, and simply SIT in the smallness of our lives.  I'm trying to learn how, and yet today in the midst of packing it came quite easily and naturally.  As I took down pictures of days gone by, I picked up a new lesson for the rest of the story.

I now understand what Emily Freeman writes in Simply Tuesday:

When we sit, we let what is be, we are able to release outcomes or admit how tightly we are hanging on to them.  

When we sit, we let ourselves be human.

We may realize that an ending doesn't have to mean an end.  Maybe it simply means it's time to begin again.

And in her prayer she writes, "We have everything we need to walk thru small beginnings wherever they lead.  Teach us to SIT on benches as we take the long way home." (2160 miles to be exact)

See what I mean!  How does she know that about me?