View from Alaska

It's been nearly a month since I've posted.  Our fishing days in Alaska picked up the last part of July, leaving little room to write.  Before I knew it, we were on a plane back to Georgia and getting the girls ready for high school, middle school, and elementary school.  Yes, each one in their very own school! 

Along with the hustle and bustle of school preparation and a weary immune system came two weeks of trying to defeat a sickness that set my throat on fire and then robbed my voice.  It's been a tiring and busy few weeks since we've been back.

It's one of those times when I have so many thoughts flying around in my mind, so many thoughts that seem unrelated and disconnected, that it feels like I have so much to say yet nothing meaningful to say. So I'm just going to type and trust that God will sort my thoughts and make some sense out of them.

Every year when we return from Alaska, I normally take some time to sit and reflect on what God has been speaking to me about during the peaceful, quiet moments in Alaska and what that means for the new school year ahead. Here are some things that are occupying my mind right now...

1. Working with a team with the same vision is so rewarding: let me brag just a little bit on our Azarel fishing crew. We are a four generational family business. We have grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins of all ages working together for the common goal - to catch as many Sockeye salmon as we can! We meet together at 6:00am with our rain gear on, ready to listen to the day's game plan. Instructions are given and a prayer is offered to Our Provider and we are off....climbing onto tractors and into trucks, hooking up boats, grabbing life jackets and nets and buoys to then parade down the driveway and down the bluff to the beach. 

I know my role- prepare nets for #1 and #2, and I know cousin Rena has #4 & #5 and cousin Angie has #3, and the guys will head out in boats. And by 7:05am, we will be fishing all 12 nets and waiting with anticipation. We know what to do when the nets starts jumping. We know what to do when the boats give us a hand signal. (unless they throw in a new one they haven't told us about, BRENT & REID!) We know our role. We know we are needed. We know we are valued. 

And there is nothing better than that when you're in a family, on a team, or part of a church. 

2. It's not where, but WHO you want to do life with:  each morning we set out to fish, I kept thinking to myself..."There is nobody else I would rather fish with than this family."  There are lots of places we can do life. The bigger question for me is who do I want to do life with.  Life is more precious when you live it out with those you love.

Our Azarel camp dog "Daisy" - Ava's best friend!

3. Be in tune to what brings my heart joy:  one of my favorite bloggers, Emily Freeman, has often challenged her readers to notice what stirs their heart and opens up their spirit. 

In between many back to back fishing days, we had one day off. Of course, all the kids asked if we could head to the lake for some tubing and knee boarding.  Why not - Island Lake here we come! Despite warnings of swimmers itch, nothing could keep the kids out of the water.  Brent and I sat in the bow of the boat talking about the deep things of life as we watched our girls laugh with their cousins on the tube...

And try knee boarding for the very first time...

As soon as Ava got up on her first try with ease, I had to hold back the tears. Instant joy filled my heart, and my conversation with Brent turned to the topic of dreams.  

I think I've been afraid to dream when it comes to my family.  That breaks my heart just writing it.  I don't know where I came up with this idea that when you are in ministry you have to always make sacrifices when it comes to wants and dreams.  I've often times put dreams aside, assuming I'm just being selfish, and it's all too frivolous. Is it okay to set future goals for your family that have nothing to do with ministry or the church? But it has everything to do with putting joy back into your life? Can't God be in those ordinary earthly moments too?  

I think I've taken ministry too seriously. Now don't get me wrong. Faith and ministry are serious topics, but let me tell ya....ministry without joy is no laughing matter either.  It's sad. It's depressing.  It's hard. 

Being in tune with what breaks my heart or what brings out the deep sense of joy is simply a message about myself from God.  From His spirit to mine.  He made me with passions and dreams and desires.  Can I give myself permission to embrace them and explore them all the while trusting God is in the midst of them?

4. No ministry sacrifice is worth the sacrifice of a marriage or of a family: this summer was a reminder to put my family in its right place. My first ministry under God is my marriage and my family, and it is the year to put fun back into our home, into our lives, and into our church ministry.  Brent and I have made a verbal commitment to start doing that and live with a temporary perspective, making the most of where we are at in this season of life. To stop taking life so seriously and start enjoying it with our family.  I have to be intentional about this because my high need to be responsible can really zap the fun factor! 

Another summer in Alaska comes to a close, and each time I leave saying good-bye to the view outside our window and returning with a brand new perspective about living life with God and others.

Alaska is about capturing moments and seeing God in those ordinary, everyday happenings. Inside each one is a package of joy!