Why Fit In?

 “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” 
-Dr. Seuss

She stood out from the beginning. Arrived in a whirlwind, on her own accord and with little warning.

With a few painless contractions, my school principal that Tuesday morning instructed me to go home, but I felt better about going to the hospital and them telling me to go home.  I called my husband at work to say it was no big deal and that he didn’t need to meet me there, but when I walked up to the hospital, there he was.

Nurse Rose took care of us and monitored my few contractions. I was sure this was a false alarm, and I would be sent home.  Well, so did Nurse Rose until she checked to see if I was dilated. Her eyes looked up at me with disbelief and said, “I thought I’d be sending you home, but I’m getting you a room right away. You’re at a nine!”  

I recall my husband and I nervously laughing at the possibility that I was going to have this baby quickly. I was immediately wheelchaired to a room and commotion took place around us. I was in no pain, but by the looks of things I was having this baby very soon.  My doctor would not make it in time so the doctor on call stepped in.  He was an awkward type, but friendly. His hair, an untidy disheveled look, made him a bit humorous as he spoke quickly about breaking my water and being back in just a few minutes. I didn’t argue with the plan, but shortly after he left and an epidural was not an option, my body began to push the little being inside of me. She wasn’t waiting for the doctor on call to return.  Nurse Rose kicked things into gear, grabbing the resident doctor nearby, and after two pushes, out of the whirlwind of unexpected excitement, there she came…our Austyn Rose, named after her nurse, who was our rock through this dramatic delivery.

Austyn came into this world with such determination and flair, and even though she was born with three small holes in her heart, that didn't slow her down. We should have known her beginning would be an indication of her approach to life. She needed no pacifier nor thumb to soothe her. She was independent right off the bat. She wore a Snow White dress everywhere she went, but when I asked my two girls what they wanted to be when they grow up, her sister said “a princess,” and Austyn followed with, “A bad guy!” 

She has always wanted to be unique; to do her own thing. One Sunday morning, Austyn came upstairs wearing a small pillow case adorning her head. I calmly asked questions about her headdress, if she was planning on wearing the pillow case to church, and quickly realized this was not a battle I wanted to fight. She wore it to church without any inhibition or reluctancy. In fact, during kid’s church, the children’s pastor called on her enthusiastically raised hand, and Austyn ran on stage to role play a character of the Bible story. Her pillow case fit the part perfectly. I was in the back of the room, thinking “How did she pull that off so well?” She embraced an idea, and others did too. 

“Is she making friends?” I asked Miss Julie, her preschool teacher, at our first parent-teacher conference. Miss Julie laughed out loud and reported that even though she was the youngest in the class, the other students looked to her to follow her lead.

Early on, Austyn saw Dr. Seuss' quote, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" and said, "That's me!" To which I responded, "It sure is!" I knew that was true of her, and I envied her confidence and assurance in that statement. 

The draw to fit in is strong - in our culture, in our neighborhoods, in our friend circles, on social media, in churches, and on college campuses. Austyn is now heading on to college, and I'm having to let go again. Another send off I should say...and I wish nothing more than for Austyn to "stand out".  Now I don't mean that she will stand out with academic achievements and accolades at college. That's all great, I know, but I want her to enter this new college life like she entered this world. The same way she walked on stage with a pillow case on her head, and led her peers in the small classroom. 

In her own way. 

Without inhibition or self-doubt. Without questioning if someone might think poorly of her. Without concern that it might not fit the norm or the trend or the popular view. But simply, living out who God has uniquely created her to be - her personality, her strengths, her mannerism, her outlook, and even her faith. Those innate attributes her Creator designed in her. Would we all stand out if we truly embraced who we were created to be instead of fit into someone else's mold or what the culture says we should be?

You see, no one taught Austyn how to wear a pillow case stylishly on her head. You know I didn't! She didn't take any leadership training before preschool, and I definitely had nothing to do with the timing or way she entered this world. I was just along for the ride. No planning, no training, just BEING herself.

Jesus knew clearly His purpose on earth was not to fit in, and because of that, He stood out. The culture said "You can't say that," but He did.  The culture said, "You can't do that," but He did. The prominent people said, "You can't associate with those people", but He didn't listen.  It wasn't politically correct.  It wasn't socially correct. And Jesus was accused of many things as He lived out what He was born to do. 

Today, I'm praying for our sons and daughters as they step onto college campuses this month.  In an aggressive culture of agendas. Where terms have changing meanings, pre-judgement seems to be the norm, and confusion is prevalent without solid truth to stand on.

Our college students were born to stand out in such a time as this. And as I prayed for my oldest when she went to college, I am praying the same prayer for my middle one - Psalms 138:3.

"When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted."

Stouthearted...we don’t use that expression much these days, but it encompasses the following words: brave, determined, daring, fearless, dauntless, gritty, gutsy, lionhearted, unwavering, and valorous. It's a great word to pray over our grown-up children as they are sent out to their individual campuses and work places. 

Let's remind them that they were born to stand out. That the same Spirit in Jesus lives in them as they live out their purpose in their own God-given way. Encourage them that they have God's Truth to stand on when it is challenging to stand out amongst popular and opposing views. They are not alone. In fact, they were born for this. They were made bold and stouthearted for this very season. And point out to them the ways you've already seen the evidence of this - of being brave, daring, and determined. We often see things in our children they cannot see in themselves yet, and it is our job to prepare them for this next step in life, trusting God will plant our words in their hearts.

So, Austyn, continue to bloom and grow as you were born to do, and stand confidently knowing that God has equipped you for this next chapter of your life. God has made you bold and stouthearted. Remember how fearless you were when our family moved across the country. You were gutsy when you auditioned for a theatre play and tried a new sport. Your big heart and compassion for peers with special needs is a sign of valor. When disappointments came, you found the grit to not give up, and your dauntless determination earned you a valuable spot on the team.  And of course, your unwavering faith as you often stand solo amongst your friends is just one more proof you were born to stand out. 

Like Jesus, we are not made to fit in, but made to be bold and stouthearted and even accused of living out what we were born to do - STAND OUT!  May it be so...

I love you, "Snuggle Bug"!

Thank you for making me laugh! 

("Samantha?...I don't even know a Samantha." )