Purpose Among The Mess

I asked a friend how his job was going.  To which he replied, "Well, it would sure be a lot easier if my job didn't include people."  

I chuckled as I do when I don't know what to say after a comment that takes me by surprise. But as his words began to mull around in my mind, I found a lot of truth in what he said. 

Our lives are messy and hard often times due to the people in our lives and the choices we all make while living together in this world.

And then I think of God...

In a perfect world, the Garden of Eden still got messy with just two people on earth. It definitely would have be much easier for God if his creation didn't include humans.

Perhaps your life would be easier too without people...without the boss who keeps running your life with the decisions he/she makes in the workplace.  Without the person who says she is your friend but doesn't act like it. Without the relative who seems to cause tension in the room at every family gathering. Without the neighbor with a chip on his shoulder. Or the grumpy co-worker who enjoys complaining.  The list goes on and on. 

It definitely would be easier, but God didn't design it that way. His blueprint included relationship through every thread of His creation - relating with God, with each other, and with creation - intertwined with one another.

And in those relationships, God gave us choice...called free will. God was intentional about this like all of His creation. There was still "purpose" in the equation for free will, even though it made life messier and harder. However, His purpose wasn't to make life easier...but richer.

Relationships are complicated.  There is no doubt about that, but when I think about God, I think about how we were created to live life together. All part of His intricate plan to bring about His rich purposes and after separation due to sin, transformation in our lives. How else would we experience the fruit of the Spirit (peace, kindness, patience, self-control) outside the realm of relationships? 

Here are a few of my "purpose-full" thoughts on this: 

1. In relationships we find True Love.  It is easy to forget what "true love" is because our world has many distorted definitions of it.  But true love is unconditional. It's not about only loving those who love us back or who are nice to us.  It is loving the unlovable, the annoying, the unkind, and the hurtful. We, ourselves, make mistakes in our relationships, and it is through our messes that we can fully understand the true love and forgiveness of Christ.

2. In relationships we find ourselves:  "As iron sharpen iron, so does one person sharpen another." (Proverbs 27:17) Through relationships, God reveals our strengths and our weaknesses.  Our need for people in our lives as well as the need for us to be in others' lives. Conflicts and disagreements can also bring out our worst selves, revealing our need for God and our need for His transforming grace.

3. Conflict can bring about good:  This one's hard for me. I like to avoid conflict. But now that I'm at the age where I can look back on a slew of relationships, I've had many experiences where conflict birthed intimate and deep relationships with people. 

4. God uses our differences: When we look at the variety and diversity of God creation, it makes complete sense that we would have differences. So why are we surprised? God uses our individual gifts and perspectives to steer men and women into new directions. Just as God used Paul and Barnabas' disagreement to spread the word to different parts of the world, God will use our unique passions and viewpoints to spur us on to our next calling. 

If we want easy, I guess we should find a solitary place to live alone. 
But I figure...

if it was worth it for God to allow 

relational messes if we so choose, 

then it must be worth it for us 

to find His purposes among the mess.  

My gratitude today comes from the relationships my family had the privilege of journeying life with for five years in Georgia.  Without these relationships, we would have missed the riches that far outweigh the messes. Thank you, Georgia family!  You are priceless gifts from God!

Our beautiful Reach One Church family!



And friends who always pull up a seat at the table for you...

And friendships that will last a lifetime,


...built on sharing our messes.
                                                             

Here's to the messes we make and the riches 

God brings out of it!

State of the Soul Address

It's been awhile...a long absence for me. I almost forgot how to even login to my blog.  The view of the bluff was a long distance away this past year, and I have been feeling disconnected with myself- my thoughts, my emotions, my dreams - as well as the life lessons God is always readily available to teach me.  I kept saying to myself, "I don't have time." It's so easy to say.  We do have time, but the truth of it is, we don't have enough time to do everything. Time we have, yet we are faced with hundreds if not thousands of choices and options of what to do with it each day. 

I'm one of those personalities that scores high on the "responsibility" scale.  For me that means, when I commit to do something, I commit.  I think about it every day. It is constantly on my to-do list, and it is on my mind and agenda until it's complete. I'm always saying, "When I'm done with _________, then I'll write again."  But then I turn the page of my calendar and there is another event or task I'm responsible for.  And again I say, "When I finish that task, I will stop to write and reflect." My high responsibility is a strength, but often times for me it is a heavy burden. 

This past Christmas my sister-in-law, Jana, asked us to bring one of our favorite things for our family gift exchange.  I loved the idea until I tried to come up with a few of my favorite things (then I'd start singing the song over and over assuming that would trigger an idea). I couldn't think of anything.  I walked around Gordmans for an hour looking for something I might claim as a "favorite".  Am I completely boring? Do I not enjoy things in life? Why is this so hard?  I did settle on my Aquaphor chapstick, but my high responsibility was yelling out, "LAME!" 

My favorite blogger, Emily Freeman, asked her listeners on her podcast,

"What is the state of your soul today?" 

I opened up my new 2019 journal my daughter Austyn gave me for Christmas and wrote, "Uneasy." 

This past year of 2018 was full of so many great things - family time in an RV across the southwest, college visits, parents' 50th anniversary, mission trip to Panama, new Alaska adventures - but even with all these amazing life events, I've missed out.  I did not carve out much time to reflect and capture the meanings, the joys, and the life lessons. The very thing that nurtures my soul. I was highly responsible with my time, no doubt. Check that off my to-do list and add another task.  But while I was preparing and completing responsibilities, I was also neglecting to ponder these things in my heart like Mary, Jesus' mother, did. I lost sight of what I favor and enjoy and therefore, didn't make time for it. Ultimately, the uneasiness I feel comes from not making room for the important things that soothe my soul.

Perhaps the questions recently posed to me may alleviate some uneasiness or reveal new insights for you:

What is the state of my soul today? 

(thank you, Emily Freeman!)

What are a few of my favorite things? 

(thank you, Jana!)

How much time do I spend taking care of my soul?

Urgent things are seldom important and 

important things are seldom urgent.

(spoken by President Eisenhower)

One of my favorite things to do is to write.

It is how God speaks to me, clears my mind, and cares for my soul. So today I'm renewing a need and a joy in my life - the responsibility of writing. I am responsible to myself to make time to ponder important things.

And this weekend at my husband's birthday dinner, I'm going to order my "favorite" dessert at the Fork - WARM BUTTER CAKE!

Here's to Capturing Life's Lessons again...